Mel On...Pity Party for One

Well, I still haven't been able to get myself out of this "funk" I've been having.  I have a lot going on behind-the-scenes and I think it's starting to really affect me. Our veterinarian recommended we put our 9 yr-old dog down soon.  I always feel so weird calling her our "dog."  She has always been way more than that.  She is our friend, our girl, our Sadie. I know it's the best thing for her but it still sucks a fat one knowing that we have to make that call, to set a date...it breaks my heart even thinking about it.

My grandfather is also having a very hard time, my Mom is not sure how much longer he has and his quality of life is quickly fading.  I hate being so far away from family at times like this.  He helped raise me since I was a little girl and has always such a great role model in my life. Almost all of my childhood memories include him.  I want to be there for him - for both of them - so badly.

This is on top of a looming international move to an unknown location in less than 4 months.  We know we are moving back stateside this summer, we just do not know where.  Thankfully, we are down to two possible locations but I still won't be able to rest until I know for sure where we are headed.

And, as of last night 3 out of 4 of our family members are sick.  SICK.  Nonrefundable plane tickets to Spain, we leave in two days.  SICK.

Normally, this is when I run.  I get out there on that trail and every single one of my problems melt away.  For that hour there is just me, a road, nature, a little sweat, and an iTunes playlist.  Not being able to do that (out of fear of angering my knee anymore before Madrid) is making it 10 times worse. I need to run!

I am hoping that once we get there (hopefully all healthy) that I can snap out of it.  I've been wanting to run this race well for my Aunt (I MISS her, dagnabit) so I feel like I have extra pressure on me, which I know I shouldn't because I know she would be proud of me no matter what I run it in, I just, I don't know...I just need to run....