I was the goalie of our high school soccer team (Best Defensive Player 2 years in a row...woot woot!) partly due to it being the only position that did not require massive amounts of running and partly because I was a little aggressive on the field. I mean, you break a girl's leg ONE TIME and it's all everyone talks about....(I may or may not be just a little bit competitive).
After high school I joined the military. I was one of the crazy ones who actually enjoyed boot camp. Just not the running. I hated the running. But I loved the camaraderie that came with the challenges that it entailed...
Then I got married and two kids later I still hated running. This was no secret. If you saw me running your first thought was to look for the rabid dog or psycho attacker that you knew was chasing me down the street.
Then, as motherhood goes, you start losing a little bit of yourself. Your time gets pushed away for someone or something else. You go from being "Melanie" to being "So-and-So's Wife" to being "So-and-So's Mom." I wish I had some super-cool story as to why I started running, but the truth of the matter is that at some point, I just wanted to do something for me. I missed challenges other than reasoning with out-of-control pre-schoolers; deadlines other than timing showers to coincide with nap times, accomplishments other than getting said pre-schoolers to take said naps. I was just missing something.
Little did I know that something was the one thing I hated.
Three years ago my husband was on a year-long deployment. Our kids were 1 and 3 at the time. I was also working full-time, going to school part-time, and studying for my CLA exams (I may or may not be an overachiever as well).
Things were hectic to say the least. I needed something that I could do away from the house, away from my crazy, sweet children (God knows I do love them), away from the piles of laundry, away from the pages and pages of case law I had to analyze, away from everything. Something snapped inside my little ole head and I just wanted to run. To run away. To run. Run. Hmmm...why not.....
So I put on a pair of cotton socks (awh, cotton socks) , laced up my decade old tennis shoes (who replaces tennis shoes anyway), and walked out the door. Ten minutes later I was panting, dripping with sweat, swearing that my app on my iPod was mistaken. I had to have ran at least 2 miles. AT LEAST. Surely it wasn't the .25 that was popping up on my screen...surely...
Needless to say that lit a spark. 1) I was embarrassed. How in the world I had gotten THAT out of shape was beyond me. 2) I was pissed that I had let .25 miles get the best of me...I knew I could do better. 3) I was determined that this would NEVER happen again. I would NEVER have this feeling again. 4) I wanted to throw my iPod in the pond so there was no evidence of this failure (thankfully, I had just downloaded a new Pink album so it was safe - I may or may not also be a little bit dramatic).
So I replaced those old shoes, got some new running gear, and over the next few weeks my runs got longer. Over the next few months I got faster. Over the next few years I got braver. I ran my first half-marathon in 2012. It was in London, England and it was fantastic. My only goal was to finish and I did. 2:37:21. Average pace 12:00 min. mile. I did it. I finished. I was proud ...I was hooked.
So when people ask, "Why do you run?" I laugh a little. Again, I have no awe-inspiring story. I was never a real runner. At one point I just wanted to run (even if it was away). I wanted a place where I could be just "Melanie." Nothing else. Where I can find camaraderie, be challenged, and compete with no one but myself. To do something for me.
And the bonus? The life-changing realization that I can do more than I thought I could. Because at some point during the run, when you pass through all the sweaty exhaustion, you get the feeling that you did it. That you can do anything. And that's it. That is why I run.
You are awesome and make a mom so proud!
ReplyDeleteWith God all things are possible...you have always had the heart of a winner and there is nothing you can't do once you make up your mind. Miss you!